I was there
while he breathed heavily
on top of me.
I saw the cruelty in his eyes
when he was on top of me.
I struggled under his arms
as his mind pushed for one thing.
I felt the pain and betrayal as he tore
my legs apart,
and thrust into me
I heard the words he said,
which I won’t repeat for the dignity of
my writing,
and for the dignity of your reading.
But I was there
and now I am here,
hopeless, helpless
wondering how to tell my fiancé
about this disillusionment of myself
and that I was there
saw him and felt him.
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