She struts her superior brain
around the house
and into the formal dining room
where she examines a piece of toast
from the artisan bread I baked
for flaws and imperfections
Is this nutrition
her gaze seems to ask
or merely more calories I will have to
burn
to maintain my svelte physique?
Even the reptilian part of her brain
is deluxe
a six-foot long iguana
that lives in the top of a palm tree
dives gracefully as an Olympian
into the blue-green lagoon below
and swims through the depths like
a Fijian pearl diver
as the human part of her brain
also dives deep
to discern
the darkest dramas of patriarchy
She departs for work
leaving the breakfast dishes
scattered on the counter
where her cat licks egg yolk off her
plate
(she’s capitulated to the need for food)
for me to take care of
She doesn’t keep office hours
she keeps office minutes
She is the Abu Dabi Hilton of
academicians
Making an appointment with her is like
booking a penthouse suite
At faculty meetings she vociferously
insists
that the admissions criteria should be
raised
Her colleagues have been through this a
thousand times
and don’t even hear her anymore
She is disgusted that even the smartest
of youngsters
are insipid
These dullards are crestfallen as she
takes out a scalpel
and a titanium cutting board from a desk
drawer
and dissects
a Hershey’s kiss
she’s taken from a crystal bowl on her
desk
and using the knife edge
slides diminished portions of chocolate
over to them
She leaves the tin foil wrapper for them
to dispose of
She sees it in their eyes: they think
they deserve an entire kiss
She knows they see it in her eyes: When
you deserve a full kiss
you will get one
It’s a short walk from our home to her
office
at Prestigious U
Her head floats atop her neck
like a barge floating down the
Mississippi
She doesn’t hear
the music piping from the
paddle-wheeler’s calliope
doesn’t hear birdsong
or a student playing his guitar
That’s all too trivial for her auditory
nerves to register
Her head’s full of
ten thousand ways that women have been
victimized
Today
if she’s on her game
she’ll impart a mere dozen to her
students
