Kiss by Mitch Grabois

She struts her superior brain

around the house

and into the formal dining room

where she examines a piece of toast

from the artisan bread I baked 

for flaws and imperfections

Is this nutrition

her gaze seems to ask

or merely more calories I will have to burn

to maintain my svelte physique?

Even the reptilian part of her brain

is deluxe

a six-foot long iguana

that lives in the top of a palm tree

dives gracefully as an Olympian

into the blue-green lagoon below

and swims through the depths like

a Fijian pearl diver

 as the human part of her brain

also dives deep

to discern

the darkest dramas of patriarchy

She departs for work

leaving the breakfast dishes

scattered on the counter

where her cat licks egg yolk off her plate

(she’s capitulated to the need for food)

for me to take care of

She doesn’t keep office hours

she keeps office minutes

She is the Abu Dabi Hilton of academicians

Making an appointment with her is like booking a penthouse suite

At faculty meetings she vociferously insists

that the admissions criteria should be raised

Her colleagues have been through this a thousand times

and don’t even hear her anymore

She is disgusted that even the smartest of youngsters 

are insipid 

These dullards are crestfallen as she takes out a scalpel

and a titanium cutting board from a desk drawer

and dissects

a Hershey’s kiss

she’s taken from a crystal bowl on her desk

and using the knife edge

slides diminished portions of chocolate over to them

She leaves the tin foil wrapper for them to dispose of

She sees it in their eyes: they think they deserve an entire kiss

She knows they see it in her eyes: When you deserve a full kiss

you will get one

It’s a short walk from our home to her office

at Prestigious U

Her head floats atop her neck

like a barge floating down the Mississippi

She doesn’t hear

the music piping from the paddle-wheeler’s calliope

doesn’t hear birdsong

or a student playing his guitar

That’s all too trivial for her auditory nerves to register

Her head’s full of

ten thousand ways that women have been victimized

Today

if she’s on her game

she’ll impart a mere dozen to her students